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So last night, I had an incredibly vivid dream that I went to Hell. It began with me smoking with two friends as we enjoyed a game of Mario Kart, but one of them overdosed on cocaine as I passed out. When I woke up, I found myself in a circular light blue hallway, with a concerned bespectacled man standing over me. Apparently, my friend had gone to Hell, the entrance to which lay in the center room of the hallway, and I was next. Upon opening some double doors, I was greeted with a steep jagged hill comprised of rocks, surrounded by burnt walls that descended into the darkness. A cloaked figure walked up past me, informing me that now was my last chance to gather supplies and food-there wasn't much where I was headed. I thanked him, and he was pleasantly surpised by my manners. As I made my way down the rocks, a dim murmuring made itself known. The noise became louder until I found myself in a classic theatre, surrounded by dozens of people I've known at one point or another, mostly from highschool because that's where i've spent the most time up until now.

I sat down towards the front, and a short movie began playing. It explained that we were about to go to Hell, and that nothing but suffering and pain awaited us all. Everybody cheered. When the film ended, a perky young woman came bounding out from stage left, getting everyone hyped for entering Hell, through a small door at the front of the theatre. Through the cheering and general excitement, a baby appeared in the aisle, which the young woman proceeded to stomp the shit out of, (with the aid of a small mob of audience members,) until it was nothing but a red pulp. With an expression of pure glee, she scooped up the remains into a pail and declared it 'Liquefied Baby'. She scanned the room for a volunteer, chose me, and proceeded to sling the Liquified Baby at me. I smiled despite the fact I was now covered in a dead infant, and quickly began to swipe it off while everyone began to file through the entrance door. Liquefied Baby has an incredibly oily texture.

When I was finally clean, I stumbled through the door, into an astoundingly bland hallway. Think of every hospital and low-budget educational facility you've ever been in, combined and lit blindingly. On the walls were display boards, showing off what appeared to be arts n crafts made with pus and vomit. Classroom doors lined the walls, and peering in showed nothing but red mist. Following a good few minutes of trekking along with the crowd, the hallway ended with an equally plain Library. A few people were already scattered around, and they welcomed us in. Immediately, I saw a long-faced, bright eyed guy, and yelled out "HEY, I KNOW YOU! I RECOGNISE YOUR FACE!". He smiled knowingly, gave me his number, and watched me get swept away from the crowd. I did not, in fact, recognise him at all. I felt strongly that I did in the moment, but I was wrong.

From what I can tell, Hell is an endless single-story highschool-type building. In the dream, I stumbled upon at least three seperate courtyards, a computer room, and, bizarrely, a chic dining area of all places. The only foods there were impossibly tiny subway sandwiches, and tiramisu. There was a one-sandwich-per-person limit. You'd expect there to be some sort of authoritative demon creatures wandering around torturing people or whatever, but in reality everyone was unsupervised and mostly just milling around in boredom. After the vomit art, I honestly expected some more grim happenings, yet the only notable instance was how Liquefied Baby kept reoccurring. From the looks of things, everyone in hell has had a Liquefied Baby encounter, rendering it no big deal.