SHIT THAT USED TO SCARE ME

PICKS FROM THE BOWELS OF YOUTUBE

♥

DORA NO MORE

dear lord, I didn't even see this one as a kid, right. I saw it last SUMMER, man, and this shit gave me such a horrible, horrible feeling. there's something just gross about the way this is animated, and it's hard to pinpoint, but the whole video's just OFF. like compare this to dumb ways to die or even SMILE HD, and you'll notice how unpalatable this one is. and the bizarro music doesn't help, either, just LISTEN to that shit!!!

♥

LOITUMA ONION SMASH

EVIL! evil, evil, evil, DARKSIDED video. good GOD. one of the few things on this list that STILL give me the jibblies.

♥

COOKING MAMA, THE UNAUTHORIZED PETA EDITION

finding this without any vegetarian context on one of those kids flash games sites might've ruined me, tbh.

♥

VARIOUS CREEPYPASTAS

yes, when I was but a wee infant, I got spooked by the funny internet scary stories. while I wait for the sitcom laugh-track to end, here's a lightning round of some of the fuckier ones: squidward's suicide, happy appy, the smiledog image, there was one where catdog got hit by a train, a gumball one where people swore or some shit, this disneyland one where they sacrified a snow white face character? I wasn't scared of the Cell Phone Game, Rap Rat, (which is linked,) or 1999, but I want to mention them because I used to fuck with them heavily.(ADDENDUM- CANDLE FUCKIN COVE, MAN. god all the other creepypasta WISHES it could be that bitch. god DAMN.)

♥

SMILE HD

hilarious now, brutal when I was 11.

♥

THE SIMPSONS COUCH GAG- YOU'RE NEXT

imagine being in the middle of a particularly heinous paranoid breakdown and then watching THIS MOTHERFUCKER. god. at the time I was fucked up badly, but now I can appreciate the love & care lee hardcastle put into rendering the simpsons family getting gruesomely murdered.

♥

UNKNOWN

no fucking idea what this was or where they came from, but there were a series of videos where there'd be a kid's face in the middle, superimposed over a typically mid-2000s looking flash animation. shit was sickening.

♥

THE INCREDIBLE HULK COASTER CRASHES!!!

speaking of screamers. this didn't scare me, but I wanted to include it because there used to be a comment that said "why'd you put a picture of your mom at the end of the video", which, at the time, was the sickest roast i'd ever laid eyes upon.

♥

OLD YOUTUBE HYPNOSIS/ILLUSION VIDEOS

the one linked doesn't have a screamer, because I wasn't scared by the screamers specifically. just the videos themselves creeped me out. the jumpscares were just salt on the wound.

♥

R BUDD DWYER

tl;dr, a politician shoots himself in the mouth in front of a crowd of stunned onlookers. I wasn't ready to see it, but I did, and thought about it nonstop for like a week in year 8.

♥

MR NEBBERCRACKER

dead lady entombed in the basement of a house- no big deal. an old man yelling at a child- fucking horrifying. i'd always leave the room when the start of the movie played.

♥

MEREANA MORDEGARD GLESGORV

it's the silence that gets you, man.

♥

ANNOYING ORANGE SAW

I didn't even watch the video. the thumbnail just freaked me the fuck out. in my childhood room was a stable-type door that lead up to the loft, and the top half would drift open constantly. i'd imagine billy jigsaw's head slowwwwwwwly emerging from the doorway. pure nightmare fuel, and I did it to myself.

♥

THE WIZARD OF OZ HANGING MUNCHIKIN

naysayers, I ask you this: if it isn't a dead dwarf, why in god's name did they erase it in the remaster???

♥

CHIPS- ANGRY KID

angry kid's face is some uncanny valley bullshit and i'll maintain 'til the day I die that I was completely justified to be scared of this bitch as a child.(ADDENDUM- I used to swear that I could see angry kid lurking outside in the darkness of the garden.)

♥

CRAZY FROG DIES

i'd be remiss if I didn't start this shit off with the ORIGINAL. when I was four and youtube was still shiny & new, my dad would sit me in front of a vortex crazy frog videos and other similar shit. anyway, he put this on, left to go get some tea, and I was promptly scarred for fucking eternity as crazy frog was destroyed in cold blood before my very eyes.